


Boom Boom Pow

by dupli



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Deliberate Badfic, Gen, Snorting Cocaine, Spongebob Quotes, chewing 5 gum, getting drunk, really dumb statements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 11:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dupli/pseuds/dupli
Summary: The Smash Mansion decided to have a party. Why? Because the weather is too bad to do anything. So, in usual fashion. They cleared out the cafeteria and turned it into a dancefloor. And.. Shit happens.





	Boom Boom Pow

“Why is there snow on the table?” Mega Man asked. Pointing to a long ass line of white powder on the table.

“That’s not snow, honey.” Villager patted his boyfriend’s shoulder. Right as he did that, Pichu came sliding down the table snorting the powder. Which was in fact cocaine.

“IT’S BRITNEY BITCH!” Pichu shouted. Pulling out a Juul and taking a huge hit out of it.

“Dear lord, what has happened to Pichu?” Lucas asked.

“How do you not know by now he is a drug addict?” Lucario replied. “He was trying to sell drugs to some of the Assist Trophies last night.”

“Don’t even ask about rehab.” Leaf sighed. “Pikachu tried, but it failed.”

\---

“Hey guys! I brought some good stuff!” Roy announced.

“Oh really?” Corrin came to see what it was.

“Want some gum?” Roy gave Corrin a stick of gum.

Curious, Corrin unwrapped the gum. It was watermelon flavored. He decided to chew it, of course! But when he chewed it… He turned into his dragon form or whatever.

“Stimulate your senses.” Roy commented.

“Did you seriously just give Corrin 5 Gum?” Robin asked.

“Yeah! Want some?” Roy smiled.

“... I’ll pass.”

\---

“All women….” Blue stormed into the party room. Revealing a foam sword he got from the dollar store. “... Are queens!”

“If she breathes... “ Ness noticed Blue. Immediately showing off a similar fake sword. “SHE’S A THOT!”

The two kids proceeded to swordfight with their fake swords.

“Are these the kind of kids you hang out with?” Ridley asked Woomy.

“Yeah.” Woomy nodded. “And I’m not ashamed.”

\---

“Where is Richter?” Luigi asked Simon.

“Last time I saw him, he was drinking with some other Smashers.” Simon responded. “Let’s go see how he is doing.”

So Simon and Luigi went to see how Richter was doing. And well.. Richter was drunk as fuck.

“You okay, Richter?” Simon asked.

“Does Mike Wazowski wink or blink?” Richter turned to Simon.

“... Yeah. You’ve been drinking too much.” Simon sighed.

\---

“This is so sad.” Pit said. “Alexa, play Despacito.”

In the distance, the Alexa the whole mansion shared stopped playing whatever song that was on and played Despacito.

“This is why Palutena doesn’t love you.” Dark Pit facepalmed.

\---

“Did you know water isn’t actually wet?” Toon Link asked Zelda.

“What are you smoking?” Zelda raised an eyebrow.

“Facts.” Toon Link finger-gunned.

\---

Geno crawled into the room because he can defy the laws of the universe. He began to cough and choke as his body got weaker. He looked around and saw the stuff happening at the party.

“WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?” Geno screamed.

“That’s Smash for you.” Mario said as he helped Geno up.


End file.
